Life in Italy...Naples...NOT....Latina

A funny account of life in Italy courtsey of Jonnie W via www.BritanniainItalia.com 


Bear in mind this is about Naples NOT Latina where we are:


An irreverent guide to living and getting about in Naples/Campania

Firstly, Don’t Panic.  For all the horror stories you hear the amount of RTAs are actually very small and most are just minor bumps and grazes.  Although drivers wave their arms around you will find that they are probably just having an argument with their mobile phone/passenger/radio and there is no real reason to be worried.  Since road rage does not exist, and although I would describe the driving as forceful at times, if someone does wave a fist at you just smile and the moment will pass in a second and they will not even be bothered with you after that.  And yes it is a bit like ‘The Italian Job’ at times.

A word about Italian Insurance.  All vehicles must have a Bollo.  This is the minimum requirement set by the State but is 3rd party only.  Drivers can purchase additional insurance but, hey, why bother if your car is a pile of junk.  Having said that, and noting that Italians love cars, there is actually no equivalent of an MOT.  There is only a safety check whereby if the car can drive to the testing centre (but not necessarily stop) and that it has a warning triangle and Hi-Viz surcoat it will pass.  You will see that many cars carry battle damage – dented bumpers and wing mirrors hanging off that sort of thing –which gives you an idea about the general state of repair and the fact that Italians do not regard what is behind them as important.  I shall now explain why.

Orders of precedence.  If a car flashes it’s lights it wants to come through.  It is NOT giving way or letting you out.  Often they will do this as a matter of course irrespective of the hulking great lorry in front of you (which they can see).  Just wave (and smile to yourself to stay sane) that you have acknowledged them and carry on and then let him pass when it is safe to do so.  Many people drive with their lights on as a matter of course as it also means that if someone does look behind them they might actually see you.  Cars will try and squeeze around you but do not be alarmed.  Horns are generic.  They mean anything from get a move on as the lights have changed, I’m coming through, sorry I was lighting a cigarette whilst steering with my knees and knocked it accidentally, hello mate, hello pretty girlie, open the security gates on the house, hey look it still works and probably another million and one meanings I haven’t discovered yet.  Expect tailgating as it’s normal practice so don’t get even worry about getting stressed about it.

Lane discipline.  You will find 5 lanes of traffic on a 2 lane road in slow moving traffic or a jam.  How does this work?  If a car has it’s nose in front of yours, it has ‘right of way’ and may just pull in if the driver thinks there is space even if that means inching in and blocking the rest of the road.  Just be patient and it will sort itself out as it usually does.  However if you hit him, it will be mostly regarded as your fault as you where behind him and you should have seen him as he was in front of you.  Therefore watch out for cars pulling out from side streets as the presumption will be that he is not a fault as he is in front of you and you should have seen him.  But if they see you hesitate they will go for the gap.  That then is the reason why drivers do not really bother about what is behind them and why they don’t worry about little things like wing mirrors.

Since slip roads are generally very short and end with a give way sign; you will often also find cars either stopped or driving down the hard shoulder before/after trying to merge.  Approach the end of slip roads with care.  This is why Italian drivers will also tend to lurk in the middle lane and regard the outside lane as simply a joining/leaving lane.  Be prepared to slow down when someone pulls out or just drift across the white line to give them room.  But watch out for the Alfa behind you doing 150 kph and flashing its lights....

Traffic lights.  Generally adhered to now in Naples due to the nasty red light activated cameras - although sometimes they are treated as guidance only – typically during rush hour.

Precedence continued:  Blame. Is as follows:  Least likely to be blamed is the family on the moped, then the moped and motorbike.  Small cars, then large and finally trucks.  Always at the bottom is foreign or big expensive vehicles as Italy is effectively a socialist state which believes in wealth redistribution downwards; if you can afford a Merc it means you can pay for the repairs.  I think Ken Livingstone would fit in well here.  However, converse to everything I have said above, when all is said and done, might is right if you are in an ancient truck then exact opposite of the blame hierarchy will apply and that will be proportionate to how much space people will give you.

The Police.  Three varieties.  Firstly, the Carabinieri.  They are the top dogs.  If they stop you and fine you just pay it, but get a receipt.  They drive the dark blue cars and have the very Gucci uniforms and sunglasses.  Next come the local (town) police, the polizia municipale.  These guys wander round in light blue cars with a white stripe.  If they stop you they are probably on the fiddle but again ask for a receipt before paying.  If you have an accident make sure you get the other guy’s Bollo number, name, type and colour of their car and they will expect the same from you; at least get the licence plate number.  If you break down, out with the warning triangle and on with the fluorescent surcoat and wait for the police.  Lastly are the financial police – Guardia di Finanzia.  Oh yes – I said this was a socialist state and as everyone is assumed to be on some form of tax fiddle this lot can stop you in the street and demand to see the receipt for what you have just bought or see what have in your shopping bag.  The reason is that a receipt means that it has been put through the till and therefore the tax has been paid on the item by the shop owner and that you haven’t stolen it.

Blue flashing lights and sirens.  If you can move out the way do so, but be aware that they are probably just going for a espresso somewhere or are bored sitting at the traffic lights so most people don’t seem to bother.  If it’s only the local police, nobody really bothers at all and you often end up passing them again just up the road as they wait to go through the pay tolls on the Tange (with the blues and twos still on).  But, if it’s the Carabinieri and one of them is hanging out of the window waving his nightstick then get out of the way sharpish.  Also, and this is sacrosanct, as ambulances can be few and far between and generally only attend when directed by the police or when there is a serious medical case, you can turn your car into an ambulance.  Lights on (of course!), horn blaring and a white handkerchief waving out of the window.  This has an effect like the parting of the Red Sea and traffic will melt out of the way although it will then tuck in behind and attempt to follow the car/ambulance to get through the traffic quicker.  This routine is respected by ALL and NEVER abused.  Also, if you do not get out of the way, you may well find your registration number taken and reported to the police.

Personal security.  Naples and her environs is a very poor area.  Shunned by the North and if the North had its way it would cut off Italy below Milan as a useless non productive area that is a drain on the national economy.  The North (what was once the very rich and powerful principalities from Genoa to Venice) has now accepted that Rome is the political centre and a profitable tourist trap to boot has now drawn the dividing line just below it.  What this means is that there is high unemployment and hence higher crime rates than elsewhere.  Most southern Italians have never been outside of their own city – why should they – as their whole family has and will continue to live there (see road signs below).  Most crimes are crimes of stupidity ie carelessness or opportunity.  Heed the advice of not leaving anything in the car (they will probably break in just to see what it is), drive around with your doors and boot locked.  Do not, under any circumstances, stop and get out of your car (unless directed by the police).  If someone signals for help with an injured dog in the road, signals there is something wrong with your or their car and that you should stop just don’t or you could find yourself standing on the roadside watching your car being driven away.  Crimes against women are rare and never against children.  Violent crime is reserved for the camorra families and generally doesn’t touch the rest of us.

Road Signs and Maps.  If you have lived in one place all your life, you know where you are going and therefore don’t need road signs.  The only people who need road signs are those who don’t know where they are going and hence don’t live there.  So why waste money on these outsiders.  Road signs are few and far between off the main routes or very contradictory when present.  Maps are also vague.  A lot of the local building is non approved (like my house and street) and therefore they don’t appear on printed maps.  Also what appears to be a road but actually ends up having a series of Parco gates across it rendering it impassable is somewhat annoying.  With a bit of planning though it’s not that hard to navigate by main landmarks.  A compass in the car can be source of comfort in times of need.

Parking.  Can be fun as Italians park everywhere and anywhere.  Usually pulling in without signalling (they do everything without signalling and if you indicate to pull out it is mostly assumed you’ve forgotten to cancel the indicator in the first place so beware).  White parking bays – free and unrestricted.  Blue – reserved or pay.  Yellow is like UK do not park areas but also seems to apply disabled so it is a bit contradictory but my advice would be to avoid them.   Most free parking is for uno or due ore only.  This is indicated by the time disk on display on your dash board so if you are in a hire car check that it has one.  If not, they are available from most tabacchi (tobacconists).  Otherwise just write the time of you arrival on a piece of paper and stick that on the dashboard.  White cap parking where you slip a Euro or 2?  Good piece of mind.  And yes, I’ve seen people parked down the central reservation of a dual carriageway…

Finally – some top tips.

The Neapolitans like the Brits but think the Americans to be rude and brash however they cannot tell the difference between accents.  So ‘sono Inglese’ (I am British) works wonders and people mostly become all smiles and want to help.

Walk around in pairs.  Any single person (males or female and even women pushing push chairs) will often be assumed to be a person of negotiable affection (PNAs)  and will be asked ‘how much?’.  Do not take offence as this not an indication that they are being rude.  Equally a stranger approaching a single female who is not a PNA to, say, ask for directions or ask for a light for a cigarette may well get a robust refusal or be completely ignored.  Again do not take offence.  You will no doubt see many PNAs of African and increasingly East European descent along the roadsides in some areas.   They are mostly recognisable by their bright plumage or sunshades in the summer.  Either that or they are waiting for their uncle to come along.

The motorway police (polizia strada) do have speed guns but mostly they have been seen pulling over the very very fast drivers.  On that note, speeds motorways range from 30kph to 180kph so just be aware that there is also some very slow moving traffic out there.

Petrol stations.  Generally all of a similar price (all within a cent or 2) but that they come in 2 forms.  Self service and those with a little man who will do it for you but this will generally cost a couple of cents more a Lt.  It is also customary to slip him a euro or 2 for his trouble of filling your car at a higher price than you could have done it yourself if you had gone to the other pump.  However most petrol station attendants have spent at least a year at college learning about cars so in reality you are tipping their experience and knowledge.  Most (all major) garages now take credit cards but be aware that poverty brings low income and low income brings a cash based society that avoids banks (and hence tax – see Police above).  Be prepared to find that many shops/restaurants etc will only accept cash.  If in doubt ask to prevent embarrassment especially if you are off the main roads.

Street side vendors and windscreen washers at traffic lights.  Switch on your wipers to make them go away or give a firm ‘non’.  If you do want a windscreen wash don’t get scammed like us by the little urchins (who couldn’t reach the top of the LandRover windscreen anyway).  They asked for a couple of euros but dropped a coin into the car as we handed over them over.  Asking for another Euro, which we foolishly gave, we later found that they only dropped a couple of cents or a washer.  Hey it’s only pennies we’re talking about here though.  Also, watch your back doors or items easily reached through on open window when stationary as well.  Just keep it out of sight and/or locked.

In summary – this looks like a lot of info and some of it sounds grim but it is offered as good advice and a small cultural snapshot of southern Italy. Whilst Naples is a bit of a law unto herself the principles also hold elsewhere as well.  Relax, don’t get stressed and just remember this is all common sense and it also happens in any big town anywhere in the world.  It’s just hotter out here and your tempers might get a bit frayed.  So stay cool!